Life has been full and vibrant lately and not just because of the new house. I also started rehearsals this week for my first musical since high school and along with that I am helping with a school auction. It feels a little crazy, but it has actually been so good.
It is forcing me to use my time more efficiently and maximize quality connections with the boys. It is not as balanced as I would like it to be, but it is just week one and I suspect after the auction everything will feel much more balanced.
Back to the musical because I am sure you are all SUPER curious. A local theater company is putting on The Little Mermaid and at the last minute I decided auditioning wouldn’t hurt anything. I am in the female ensemble which entails me playing a myriad of roles: sea creature, animal, maid, princess, etc. It has been so fun meeting in the evening and just getting those creative juices flowing again in the company of wonderful people. I forgot what a treasure it is to be part of a production regardless of your role.
I felt a bit of guilt choosing to audition and participate, wondering what kind of sacrifice to my role as mother it would be. I worried that I would feel guilty spending any time away from the boys (a condition that comes when you spend almost 100% of your time with them). I want to be present and connect and in a moment of revelation I realized that I could use this opportunity to make more of the time I do have with them and to utilize free moments at rehearsals to ponder and gain perspective on how to become better. It doesn’t have to be either/or, it can be beneficial for everyone. In that moment I felt a great deal of peace. I am learning that finding that balance of sacrifice and self-care in motherhood is hard work, and an ever-evolving process.
Snapshots (okay these are from last week…but I can’t write a post without pictures):
Max, 4.5 years old
Daniel, 20 months
Have a wonderful weekend!