gina prescott

Simple Christmas Advent

December 3, 2018 Filed Under: faith, minimalism

I sat on a ton of ideas for this holiday season, stewing over them all of November. In the past we have done 25 books but I tend to struggle wrapping 25 books (which seems like a waste of wrapping paper). Last year we participated in the Light the World campaign that our church puts on and there was a prompt every day which was great but also overwhelming on top of other scheduled activities and other impromptu ones we wanted to do.

So this year I loved that our church simplified the campaign by making weekly focuses (the world, your community, your family, your faith) and tried to correlate our activities towards the weekly themes. I bought an advent calendar and put chocolates as well as a slip of paper inside with some sort of activity for the day. I bought 5 new holiday books and have “open a new Christmas book” in five of the mittens and the rest of them are full of service opportunities, family activities, and ways to get together with extended family and friends.

Here is our list below:

Light the World

1. Make blessing bags at the Parker’s house

2. Watch the First Presidency Christmas Devotional

3. Donate to a charity (I found the site, Charity Navigator, helps you find charities that are actually using donations well)

4. Family Home Evening: make gifts for grandparents

5. Open a new Christmas book

6. Attend church Christmas Nativity Concert

7. Family Movie Night: Elf

8. Winter Hike

Light Your Community

9. Think of who we can add to our prayers and pray for them each day this week

10. Open a new Christmas book

11. Family Home Evening: Invite friends over to make cookies

12. Pick up any trash we see today (maybe go on a trash pick-up walk)

13. Picnic dinner by the tree

14. Open a new Christmas book

15. Visit the Christmas trains

Light Your Family

16. Watch a Christmas classic: Miracle on 34th Street or It’s A Wonderful Life

17. Do a chore for someone at home (make their bed, help put away their clothes, do the dishes without being asked)

18. Family Home Evening: Make ornaments for the tree

19. Open a new Christmas book

20. Dance party to Christmas music

21. Make gingerbread houses

22. Drive around to see all of the beautiful lights

Light Your Faith

23. Sleep under the tree

24. Open a new Christmas book

25. Say a prayer of gratitude before opening presents

I realized after procrastinating getting all of this put together and doing it at 11:30pm November 30th, that it really was going to make our season easier in the long run. It would help us focus on the light that this season brings in simple ways and with that, hopefully we create some magical memories for our family along the way.

Light the World

November 30, 2018 Filed Under: faith, motherhood

This year has been immensely difficult, in large part because everything is constantly changing. We have moved 3 times this year; out of the house into my moms, out of my moms into the basement, out of the basement into a rental. We added a teenager into our mix and with that comes a busy schedule and figuring out dynamics of needs, emotions, and growth. The boys are growing quickly before my eyes, giggling at night despite the ever-present flux of their lives and be extremely patient with their mother when she isn’t always patient with them.

I feel as if I have blinked and it’s winter. I have been frozen by my own swirling thoughts. I have missed properly documenting our lives and all of the lessons we’ve gained. I’m not sure I can even keep track of all of the tender mercies we have experienced and the ways we have felt succored from Heaven.

Tomorrow is December 1st and with everything going on, I haven’t been as diligent in my efforts towards simplifying our lives. I am realizing that my biggest hurdle to simplify is actually my own dreams and imagination. I love scouring the internet and my friends for traditions and ideas and bringing more magic into everyday life, I search and make lists and print and then I have to sort through it all to figure out what I actually SHOULD do.

Oof.

What I AM grateful for is that my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) is encouraging us to Light the World once again. It’s a campaign (for everyone, not just members of our church) that is focused on service and bringing light into the world, especially at a time of year that seems SO dark.

Instead of a prompt everyday, they have chosen weekly focuses. So starting tomorrow, the focus for a week is on lighting the world; finding ways to help someone in another part of the world–recognizing that we are all connected. Actually, tomorrow they are also calling for a worldwide day of service, so me and the boys are going to help assemble some blessing bags with some other children that the youth of our congregation will deliver to a local homeless shelter in town. On Monday, I will write more about what our family will be doing to light the world and then each subsequent Monday leading up to Christmas I will write what the other weekly challenges are (which can also be found by following the link above).

With all that said, as frozen as I feel, the light of the gospel is my constant source of heat. It truly melts all of the worries of my heart away as I choose to trust in a loving Heavenly Father. That perspective shift has been EVERYTHING to me this past year. The light of Christ is so real and so powerful. It is absolutely how I keep going everyday with a smile on my face.

I hope all who read this will take a look at the Light the World challenge, it really is amazing and SO needed during these difficult times for our world.

The link one more time if you missed it above: Light the World

Bless This Home

September 25, 2018 Filed Under: home

As a follow up to further explain our house situation I realized I could actually SHOW you guys what I mean when I say my home is a glorified tent.

Our home is the poster child for the phrase “looks can be deceiving” or “don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” From the front it looks 100% normal.

You even walk through the front door and nothing looks amiss (except for maybe the massive messes my children leave in their wake…).

To the right of the bathroom is our bedroom door. You can see the towel on the floor keeping cold air from getting inside as much as possible. Open the door and you see this.

This is my bedroom.

The house was built in 1925 when split master bedrooms were a thing (a room for the man, a room for the lady…). Siding was taken off outside and all the lath and plaster was taken off inside. The holes are from sometime in the mid-century when they needed to replace insulation. They took off siding and blew in new insulation through the holes from the outside. Innovation! Now I have little sunshine holes!

Also, close to the back wall you can see the main broken beam from the roof. It’s so small, but I will show you the outside later and you can see why that whole part of the roof has to be taken off and replaced.

Let’s go upstairs.

It’s completely gutted up there except for the hallway.

Those two rooms above and below are the boys playroom and bedroom.

We also have the upstairs bathroom. Danny’s greatest joy lately is showing people that do come over that there is a toilet in our bathtub. It’s the little things you have to find joy in right?

Next up! Back downstairs to our laundry room!

Our main living room/dining room area, kitchen, Kyle’s sister’s room and main floor bathroom were unaffected by the tree. When demo started, we moved in with my mom hoping that everything would go quickly and smoothly, but unfortunately it didn’t. We were there for 2 months when we decided to move back home while things were stalled and set up sleep arrangements in our finished basement. We have a bedroom down there which my husband and I use and then just set up twin mattresses in the living area which the boys use. Gratefully we also have laundry units in the basement that we have been able to use.

It’s livable but unfortunately the cold air can’t keep from seeping into those holes and cracks and infiltrating the rest of the home with the brisk fall weather. Soon we will pack up once more and move into a furnished rental (that our insurance will pay for) until this whole thing is over and done with. Also, the rental is 1500 sq ft, so this is definitely the time to embrace minimalism like never before!

Our backyard makes me laugh, it actually looks much better than this when the random toys and balloons are put away, but that tarp is the funniest part. It covers the entry to the basement and because they removed the patio awning, there is nothing to redirect rain from seeping into our basement. After having to shop-vac water that trickled down the steps a couple of times, we set up that lovely tarp.

And yes, at night it most definitely looks like some scene from a horror film.

All in all, I am working on letting go. Letting go of the frustration of this process, of my need for perfection, of trying to keep it all together. I am working on leaning into the chaos, and trying to make sense of it. And maybe I don’t. Maybe it is just this interesting part of our family history that I never quite understand. Or maybe it’s all just an exercise in patience and recognizing strength. Either way, I have my people by my side and at the end of the day, that’s the perspective that I MUST choose. Otherwise, I may very well become engulfed by the chaos.

It’s Been Awhile

September 18, 2018 Filed Under: Uncategorized

Hi.

Nine months ago, in January, I was feeling on top of the world. We had had a wonderful holiday season and I felt refreshed with the new year. I had goals and a plan to implement them and week one had gone swimmingly; I was riding a high of accomplishment and daydreams.

Then life happened.

My husband’s family underwent a family crisis that necessitated his younger sister moving in with us. This was a choice we made together happily. She is fourteen years old and at the time was being homeschooled. We considered enrolling her in school but didn’t want to shock her system even more, so instead I guided her through her curriculum (which she received from a local homeschooling group) for the rest of the year. She still lives with us and we are so happy to have her. Seriously. She is such a strong and insightful girl and is a big help to us, especially for babysitting needs. She just started at the local high school and is thriving. Seriously, she is remarkable.

After she moved in, I took Max ice skating (being inspired by the Olympics) and promptly fractured my elbow after one lap on the ice. It was the tiniest fracture and just needed a month to heal, but it was definitely interesting to feel my body limited and not as strong as I like to be.

THEN in February a tree fell on our house.

Not joking.

There was a big windstorm and while we were at church (#blessings), our neighbor called us to let us know that the big pine tree in our back yard had snapped 20 ft up and fallen backwards onto our roof. When Kyle pulled me aside during a meeting at church, I literally crumpled to the floor. I imagined the worst, opening the front door to branches and birds sitting on my shelves. Thankfully that was not the case. The tree fell on the back half of the house and damaged the interior structural integrity (including breaking some beams from the roof in our bedroom). It was still livable (if not slightly draftier from some cracks in the walls) and so we initiated the insurance process.

We are still waiting for construction to start. In May they finally approved demolishing the siding and the lath and plaster walls of the rooms affected (which happened to include all bedrooms except for Kyle’s sister’s room). Each step has taken a month to approve and finalize and while demoing we stayed with my mother (to avoid the lead and asbestos abatement). The whole process has just been so ridiculously slow that I have grown semi-proud of my patience. I have learned that I can live like a vagabond and create home as long as I have my family with me.

I would love to wrap this up by saying “Thank goodness I am a minimalist because it made everything so much easier and I never have had to look for anything because I don’t own anything, blah blah blah…” Half my home is boxed up in random areas; the basement is a maze, the garage is cluttered, and I don’t even know what Kyle took to my step-father’s storage unit but I am probably looking for it. There is clutter and stuff everywhere. I keep having to buy new things because I am overwhelmed with even knowing where to look for the originals.

All this to say, I have been learning a lot. Learning about family, and education and minimalism and parenting and friendship.

All of this is incredibly hard and very lonely. Each week things change and our needs readjust with it and I can’t figure out how to ask for help. It is an exercise in learning how to bend with the wind and not break.

I wanted to write it all down, to make sense of all the swirling thoughts and how to explain this strange series of events that have tested my endurance and sanity. I’m afraid none of this may make much sense, but I have to start somewhere and this seems like a good spot.

Despite our home being a glorified tent and uncertainty ever knocking on our door, I am making the conscious choice to be happy. I am choosing to revel in gratitude for what is good because goodness is always there.

“you do not have to be a fire

for

every mountain blocking you.

you could be a water

and

soft river your way to freedom

too.

–options”

(Nayyirah Waheed, Salt 2013)

Monday Minimalism: Gifts and Stockings

December 12, 2017 Filed Under: minimalism

I remember my oldest son’s first Christmas. I was so excited to get him gifts but I realized that as my husband was in graduate school, presents would be minimal. It felt like a total let down and I was so disappointed. The reality though was that my son was only 6 months old. The only thing he truly wanted for Christmas was more breast milk.

Fast forward and as his interests came out, I excitedly ordered gifts that both he and I would love. I spent so much time scouring gift lists for ideas and came up with three gifts and a slew of cute stocking stuffers. I was still trying to budget after all.

That year, on top of the gifts from us, he received gifts from three sets of grandparents, and aunts and uncles. Christmas day ended up being so overwhelming for him and by the end of the day he was a mess of behavior. This was not the Christmas I had in mind.

I knew I couldn’t really control what others got him, but I could certainly be more thoughtful about what he was getting at from us. I read all about the want/need/wear/read method but still it felt like too many gifts (and too much money!). I realized that I could simplify even more: one gift and one book was enough for our home. So two years ago that is the tradition we established in our family.

Guess what?

It was such a relief. He had wanted a car rug to drive all of his little cars on and after looking online at prices I popped into a local thrift store and there was one there, in mint condition, for a third of the price. I felt a little silly buying him a gift second hand but then I remembered that he was four years old and wouldn’t notice, and he didn’t!

So each year now, I buy my children a book and one simple gift to wrap and put underneath the Christmas tree.

This year one boy is getting a Lego set, one is getting a Duplo set, and the baby will be getting a wooden hammer toy. All of the items were under $30 dollars. I want to be clear that the urge is usually always there to buy more and give more. But then I remember the excess of years past and I have to remind myself that if I truly want to make the focus of Christmas about Christ and being together as a family, I shouldn’t let presents steal the show.

But what about stockings?

I might love stuffing stockings even more than giving gifts. However, it has taken even longer to get the hang of not over-stuffing their stockings but I really think I found the right thought pattern this year in deciding what should be placed inside.

This is what will be coming from Santa Claus (besides candy):

My 6-year-old

Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Lush bath bomb
Schliech animal
Knock-knock joke book
Underwear
An 8 colored pen
Bertie botts every flavor beans (we just finished reading the first Harry Potter together!)
Character band-aids (star wars)
A new ornament

My 3-year-old

Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Lush bath bomb
Schliech animal
Bubbles
Tubby Todd Hair and Body Wash
Socks
An 8 colored pen
Character band-aids (paw patrol)
A new ornament

My almost 1-year-old (who will not be getting any candy!)

Baby toothbrush
Tubby Todd Bubble bath
Schliech animal
Wooden pull along crocodile
Teething pacifier
Peter Rabbit book
A new ornament

The boys have been getting toothbrushes and socks for years from Santa (he is a very practical fellow), but when I switched the focus from filling the stockings with the latest knick knacks and instead decided to fill them with intentional items that will be useful and loved by my children, it became so much easier to choose quality over quantity. A majority of the items are things that are unique but can be used up (and therefore wont create clutter in my home). Mostly, I am just so grateful Santa and I are on the same page about simplifying Christmas and our home. It makes our Christmas season a whole lot more joyful.

I hope this gives others ideas as you finish up your holiday shopping. Remember, as cheesy as it may sound, all your children really want is quality time spent with you on Christmas day. So whatever you happen to get them, whether it be big or small, take the time to play with them. Share in their excitement for the new play kitchen by acting as their first restaurant customers, help to build the new Lego set and afterwards act as the evil villain that their new spaceship must battle, or sit on the couch and read that new book with them making sure to really get into character.

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

My Favorite Christmas Tradition

November 29, 2017 Filed Under: faith, minimalism, motherhood

Four years ago we were packing up our lives in Spokane. We had spent two years there and at the end of those two years, buried a child with the support of family and friends. I was terrified to leave that support system. Our loss was still fresh and the holiday season terrified me. I certainly didn’t feel like celebrating.

Our last weekend in town, a few friends from church requested I show them James’ grave. His burial had been a very small family affair and these friends who had been rocks wanted to know where it was so that they could visit him in my behalf. We drove to his site and I showed them the beautiful view and after we talked for a few minutes, we were all ready to escape the biting wind into the safety of our car.

One of my friends pulled me aside and said she had a departing gift for me. She opened her trunk to reveal 12 wrapped books. I remembered how in their family they had a tradition to unwrap one Christmas book each day leading up to Christmas and she confirmed that she had purchased 12 of her favorite books for us.

This has been one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. In the darkness of my grief, she thoughtfully wanted to help bring joy to our Christmas season and in the process she also helped to establish a lasting tradition in our family.

This tradition comes with the explanation of where these books came from and why we read one each night. To help us refocus on the reason for the season and to remember the light that was brought into our own family through tremendous kindness.

Christmas books can be funny, delightful, sweet, tear-inducing, and comforting. There are so many beautiful illustrations and messages that help to redirect your heart back onto what matters most. Over the years I have searched for worthy titles to add to this collection and supplemented with library book rentals to last a full 24 days, but those original books will always be the most treasured of the bunch.

I have seen a few Christmas book lists out there but some of my favorite titles are missing from the batch! I wanted to share ten of my favorite unique titles so that you can also feel the joy of Christmas books this holiday season.

Apple Tree Christmas by Trinka Hakes Noble. This one is possibly my favorite. It tells the story of two young sisters in 1881 and how they have a very special Christmas despite a horrible storm and being a poor farming family. I love the values of simplicity and family reflected in its message.
Santa Calls by William Joyce. My oldest son loves the spirit of adventure in this book but the underlying message and beautiful illustrations make it a favorite of mine.
Christmas in the Barn by Margaret Wise Brown. Written by the author of Goodnight Moon, this book has that beautiful rhythm and cadence to it that draws you in and lulls you to sleep at the same time.
A Pirate’s Night Before Christmas by Philip Yates. This is a delightful twist on the classic many know and love. It happens to be my son’s favorite because what six year old doesn’t love the mixing pirate jargon with Christmas spirit?
Redheaded Robbie’s Christmas Story by Bill Luttrell. This one always makes Max laugh each year as Robbie confidently declares a Christmas greeting at the end. I also love the clarity of lessons learned by his classmates as they work their way into understanding the true meaning of Christmas.
A Christmas Tree for Pyn by Olivier Dunrea. I love love love this one. The father-daughter relationship manages to crack me up and warm my heart simultaneously.
Santa Clauses: Short Poems from the North Pole by Bob Raczka. I bought this one last year after being charmed by the short verses of poetry. It has 25 poems written from Santa’s perspective of his countdown to Christmas day.
My Penguin Osbert by Elizabeth Cody Kimmel. What happens when you wish for a real live penguin for Christmas and get one? I love the childish perspective of realizing what it means to align hope with reality. It manages to be both funny and illuminating.
Christmas Day in the Morning by Pearl S. Buck. This book always leaves me with tears in my eyes at the end. It’s a classic that might be overlooked by many. Family and simplicity are big themes once again that bring that true spirit of Christmas right into your tear ducts.
I Believe in Santa Claus by Diane G. Adamson. This book helps to explain why Santa is a part of our holiday tradition. I love how it simply explains and illustrates the symbolism of Santa, while bringing the focus back to the Savior.

If you are looking for more Christmas book recommendations, I highly recommend checking out Everyday Reading for her amazing lists (which I have used since 2013). Also don’t forget classics such as The Polar Express, Olive, the Other Reindeer , and The Tale of Three Trees which are all loved favorites on our list as well.

I love holiday traditions and I am especially grateful for the ones that help me to slow down, snuggle up, and refocus on all the joy that surrounds me.

Monday Minimalism: The Holiday Season

November 27, 2017 Filed Under: faith, minimalism

Holidays are a time for family, a time to reflect on what we hold most dear. It is also a time when we are barraged with deals and gifts and tradition to-do lists.

Over the years, I have grown increasingly anxious as Christmas approaches. There are too many people to buy for, too many homes to visit, too many activities to attend and rituals to uphold. December began to feel, all together, out of my control. I was simply along for the craziness of it all and would regress into the safety of my home to escape the inevitable meltdown (of me or my children).

Pretty soon, at the top of my Christmas list was the hope of a simpler Christmas. A day spent in one place, warm and cuddled as everyone gathers in a simple gift exchange. Nothing excessive, only things that were needed or beautiful, and most of all, thoughtful. Maybe we go for a hike, watch a movie, or play a game. There is laughter and love and the peace that should be associated with such a precious day. But the day overall isn’t rushed or hurried, it isn’t awash in mountains of wrapping paper with the soundtrack of hysterical children who are over-stimulated.

The more I thought of this “simple” Christmas, the more I realized that it envisioned what I most value: connection. I also looked more closely at what led to the stress and anxious feelings: overdoing it all in the name of perfection. We want the magic and wonder and joy, and we are literally buying right into the facade that that comes from having and doing more. The most memorable gifts and moments of holidays in the past usually are memorable because of the relationships around us being strengthened or our hearts feeling deep-rooted love.

Even with all this said, the pressure of the Christmas season is so normalized and accepted that it requires a conscious resistance to simplify. It takes preparation and belief that simplifying truly helps you magnify those special moments.

I am so grateful my church is working to refocus on what matters most this season. Last year it started a campaign called Light the World that is a service advent calendar. It will happen again this year where each day leading up to Christmas, you are prompted to serve in a specific way. Last year, as we participated as family, I found that all of those traditions and hopes for the holiday season happened more easily and there was so much more joy and purpose. We made holiday cookies and brought them to neighbors and our mailman. We focused on family and cuddled together with cocoa and a movie. We sent notes and drawings of gratitude to grandparents. So much more light and peace filled our holiday season.

Last year wasn’t perfect, but it helped me to understand that if I truly want to simplify and focus on what I most value, I need to stop buying into belief that joy comes from doing and having it all.

This season can be so dark and lonely for so many. If we get swept up in the hustle, we might miss the moments that will bring connection, joy, and light to others and ourselves. With each small act of service we can simplify our holiday season by bringing light to the darkness. We can illuminate and radiate the goodness that does exist and feel the simple delight of kinship and love.

Monday Minimalism: Acquire Habits

November 13, 2017 Filed Under: minimalism

For the past ten weeks I have been participating in the Uncluttered Course created by a group of minimalists (including Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist). The course was something I had been wanting to do for about a year but because of adding a new baby and adjusting to that addition, I wanted to find a more optimal time to participate.

The course has been such a great model for me to continue to declutter my life and challenge those ingrained beliefs about all of the things that surround me.

As I have been participating I started thinking about how minimalism is really a shift in what you decide to acquire. I think the desire to acquire (hey that rhymes!) is fairly innate. We have this inner pull to have more and often we fill that with physical, tangible items. We buy things because they are on sale, because they are stylish, because we see everyone else has one and we just keep on acquiring things until the legacy we leave our children is a storage unit full of stuff.

When I began to sever my assumptions about what I SHOULD be buying or even what I WANTED to buy, I started to feel the temptation and the lure of stuff even more. However, I was also far more conscious that those wants were not needs and all of that stuff I wanted would never fill whatever void or pain or boredom I felt in my life.

But! Instead of acquiring stuff, I realized I started to acquire habits. Over the course of 3 years I have challenged myself to spend less, shop less, to have less items of clothing, to have cleaner counters and fewer toys. I have de-cluttered and purged and then de-cluttered again. I am continuing to develop habits on a weekly basis (in large because of the Uncluttered Course), experimenting with less, finding that sweet spot between too much and too little.

These habits have helped to realign my focus on what I actually value. They have set me on a path of consciously choosing how I spend my time and money, to reflect those values that sometimes get trampled underneath good intentions.

My habits aren’t grandiose, but they make a difference. Having your kitchen counters clean before you go to sleep has resulted in calmer mornings. Keeping the top of my dresser cleared from articles of clothing keeps my bedroom a place of refuge instead of a room that causes headaches. Putting things away right after I use them seems basic but when interrupted by small children, becomes a challenge. These habits help create a more peaceful home and a more peaceful mother. The benefits of that sense of peace are unending, but it really is the ultimate reason I keep pursuing minimalism.

Try it out.

Start using that mental energy to start acquiring habits that will benefit your home and self rather than acquiring all the stuff you think you might need. Chances are you might gain a lot more than a few extra dollars in your bank account.

The Power of Nostalgia

November 8, 2017 Filed Under: faith, loss

I have been walking my oldest son, Max, to school in the mornings. It is something I look forward too despite all of the necessary bundling up that comes with the crispy, morning air.

Sometimes we chat and sometimes space between us is filled with the sounds of the world turning. A car driving past, the crunch of golden leaves on the ground, the distant shout of friends meeting before the final bell rings.

It takes me back to my childhood.

I walked to school every day from 1st-5th grade. I knew exactly when to leave, seasons passed not in days but in moments of the earth changing. Hot air turning crisp, leaves under foot, chestnuts falling and breaking open from their spiky green shells; shiny, smooth treasures to carry like a worry stone in your pocket, wind picking up, snow falling on bare trees, carving a path with my feet that I would march on again and again until all that pressure turned to ice. Then the earth would melt and the sun would reflect with such intensity that I would shield my eyes, the earth would gradually return to green and the sun’s intensity would transform into a stiff heat that made the trudge up the hill towards home, seem unbearable.

Each morning now is a blast to my childhood, a transportation through nostalgia to my former self.

As a child we can have such a confidence in our identity. Our sense of self is so assured and obvious and then suddenly we reach a point in our lives where it isn’t. We gain awareness and with that comes questioning everything that self was built upon. We grow and change and some of that growth and change is so good and some of it is vicious.

I came that realization two weeks ago in the middle of a Hanson concert (yes, that Hanson). I was euphoric, singing and dancing and just letting myself be transported and I remembered how much I love to dance without caring what anyone thought. How I love to sing even though I tend to be a little too loud. My senses were on complete alert as I settled into memories of laughing and dancing in my room and with friends. Recollections of natural happiness that comes with a strong sense of being yourself.

After I lost James, my grief took its greatest toll out on my self-esteem. Some of my first thoughts in the aftermath were wondering what I had done that was to blame.

I thought of my missteps as a friend, the fact that when I am really excited I tend to talk over people, how my opinions are sometimes so strong I can’t imagine anything else being right, how I sometimes hurt people by not speaking or standing up for them, the many ways I fail at following Christ, how I divulge too much information without thinking, how I make things too complicated and have trouble adapting.

Months and years have passed as shame has brought to light all of my shortcomings, all my failings to humankind. In response, I slowly hid bits of myself away. The parts that were too excited, too exuberant, too loud. So much concentrated awareness had me shrinking into myself, scared to live in case I might cause hurt.

It doesn’t take grief alone to send us hiding. There are so many reasons that can trigger our response to listen to shame. However it happens though, living a life focusing on our short-comings is a half-life. It is a life where we hide the unique and special parts of ourselves, the parts that help us feel free.

The root of the word nostalgia is literally “the pain of returning home” or homesickness. I found this fascinating. If you can look beyond the memory itself, you can recognize a sense of being at home with yourself. You can remember who you are.

The Savior wants us to find ourselves and offers up this promise, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 16:25). If we focus too much on ourselves, we will always feel lost. That constant inward contemplation can be destructive because it so often consumes us with shame. But in a paradox, losing our lives for His sake will bring us home. We must lose ourselves in all that is good (“for good cometh of none save it be of me”); in simple moments with our children, in uplifting music, in inspiring books, in service, in connection with the world around us.

Let go of the grip of self-consciousness. Know and remember that you are loved simply for being you. All of those quirks, all of what feels like imperfection, that is part of your divine identity. Stand firm in the knowledge that as you grow and lose yourself in living a joy-filled life, all of those rough parts will be softened, but your uniqueness will remain.

Remember the big and small delights that bring that true sense of joy. Remember the freedom of confidence, the ease of being unguarded. In recognizing and remembering the root of ourselves, we can return home and simply be.

Monday Minimalism

October 30, 2017 Filed Under: minimalism

Letting go of unnecessary expectations is one area where minimalism has benefited me greatly. Whether those expectations were internal (wanting to have all the hobbies) or external (being asked to help with or attend all the events), I started recognizing that I was stressed almost all of my waking hours. I had no time for the hobbies that I actually wanted to do because I was spending so much time coordinating or organizing my time sot that I could fit everything in.

Instead of always saying yes (because deep down I did WANT to do all of these things), I learned how to say, “Let me think about it.” Then I would actually take the time to think about what purpose it served both in my life and in the general benefit of those around me.

A few months after James passed away I was asked to help with a church activity by being a part of a very small play that was supposed to inspire others to better fulfill their callings. I agreed to do it but once I looked over the script, I had second thoughts. It was longer than I had imagined and the message had a tone that I felt would make people feel more guilty than inspired. I didn’t want to do it.

I sat on that script for two weeks finally calling the leader in charge to let her know that I couldn’t do it. It felt IMPOSSIBLE to do but she was so gracious and understanding. It also helped her to look for herself at the script (which she hadn’t read through either) and realize that she also didn’t want it for the meeting. The meeting was simplified with people sharing personal experiences that ended up being incredibly inspiring.

Letting go of those expectations (especially after we feel we have made a commitment) always seems terrifying. What if we end up regretting it? What if we get bored!?!

Your time will still be filled but you will end up having greater choice over that time. Because we have already made one choice about it, we can be more inspired to fill it with things that matter most.

We often want to give our family, especially our children, all of the opportunities available. We want them to be in every sport, dance class, computer club, and art group available. Our kids have so many talents and we want to explore them and help be a part of the process of discovering their passion. In our efforts to do so, we often end up feeling over-scheduled and like a taxi driver. Family dinner becomes less frequent. Family time can be spent watching each other from a distance rather than interacting in a united purpose.

I am not proclaiming it is all bad, but rather the culmination of everything has us missing opportunities.

When we choose to be less scheduled we have more time to serve when asked.

We have more time for spontaneous trips to the mountains or lake.

We have more time for family moments.

When we think about how we are choosing to spend our time, is it serving the purpose we want? It is helping us to grow in meaningful, eternal ways? It is connecting and reaching out to those who really need it? It is strengthening our relationships with family and friends?

I have found so much joy in the simple moments at home; playing baseball in the backyard, messing up the table with art supplies, and building Duplo creations of epic proportions. It brings joy because we are doing it together and that is exactly how I want to spend my time.